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You love your child, and you would do anything to ensure that they are happy and healthy. But when it comes to mental illnesses, devotion and compassion may not be enough. If you fear that your child’s mental illness is destroying the family, please know that help is available. You may not be able to cure your child, but you can play a vital role in connecting them with the care that can improve their life.

Mental Illnesses Among Young Adults

Early adulthood can be an important time for people who have mental health concerns.

A January 2018 article in the British Journal of Psychiatry reported that most adults who have a mental health disorder begin to experience symptoms by age 26. In many cases, young adults who are diagnosed with a mental illness have been living with symptoms since they were adolescents.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), about 8.8 million young adults ages 18-25 in the United States have struggled with mental illness and 5.1 million have become addicted to alcohol or another drug. Unfortunately, SAMHSA data also indicates that 42% of young adults with mental illnesses and 87% of those with addictions have not yet received care.

If you are concerned that your child’s mental illness is destroying your family, you are far from alone.

How You Can Help Your Adult Child

Personalization is the key to helping an adult child or anyone else who has a mental illness. 

This means that treatment should reflect the specific ways that each person has been impacted by their mental health disorder. In terms of a parent trying to help their adult child, this means that you should use your unique knowledge of your child to help keep them safe and convince them to get help.

Educate Yourself

You are an expert on your child. You are probably not an expert on the mental health disorder that they have developed. The more you understand about their condition, the better prepared you will be to offer meaningful support. 

If your adult child has been assessed and diagnosed by a doctor or other expert, this professional can be an excellent source of information. You may also want to visit the websites of reputable organizations. Additionally you can consult with either local or national mental health advocacy groups. 

Explore Your Options

In addition to learning about your adult child’s disorder or illness, you should also familiarize yourself with the scope of treatment options. Depending on the severity of their struggles, they may benefit from residential treatment, a partial hospitalization program (PHP), or an intensive outpatient program (IOP).

Exploring treatment options is another time when your unique insights about your adult child can be extremely valuable. There is no such thing as one perfect type of mental health treatment. As you evaluate healthcare providers in your area, you should focus on finding the facility that seems to be the best fit for your child. Consider their needs, strengths, goals, and preferences to help you find the ideal place.

Talk to Your Adult Child

Having conversations with an adult child who has a mental illness can be difficult, but it is necessary. These discussions can be opportunities for you to share your concerns and emphasize your support. They can also help you gain a better understanding of your child’s mindset. 

Is your child aware of the degree to which their symptoms have disrupted their life (and your family’s overall well-being)? Do they respond to questions with anger or aggression? Are they willing to see a doctor or consider entering a treatment program? Their attitude about these and other topics can guide your future efforts to keep them safe and get them into treatment. 

Establish Healthy Boundaries

The desire to protect your adult child can easily morph from support to codependency. Making excuses for your adult child, shielding them from the consequences of their actions, or intervening in other ways can actually exacerbate their struggles and place additional strain on your family.

Be firm about the types of behaviors that you will not tolerate. If your adult child becomes aggressive or violent, be prepared to protect yourself. If you feel that they have been taking advantage of your kindness or compassion, you can rectify that by clearly defining the limits of your support. 

Once you have set these boundaries, you need to back them up. As we said about having regular talks with your child, maintaining boundaries is both difficult and necessary

Set Reasonable Expectations

Your adult child may not have grown into the adult that you expected them to be. That does not mean that they have failed. Nor does it mean that you have. Blaming them or yourself for how their life has turned out thus far is at best a counterproductive endeavor. At worst, it can drive a wedge between the two of you at a time when they most need your support.

Recovering from a mental illness is typically a long-term process. The day your adult child agrees to get help is an important step. But it’s far from the last one they will need to take. Establish reasonable expectations for their progress, be prepared for challenges and setbacks along the way, and understand that their ability to heal is not something that you can control.

Get Help for Yourself

If you are afraid that your child’s mental illness is destroying family, you may be hesitant to discuss your problems with friends or relatives. Resist this urge to isolate yourself. 

First, struggling with a mental illness (or having a child who has developed a mental health concern) is nothing to be ashamed of. Second, the simple act of talking to someone you trust can help you manage your stress levels. It may also help you determine which steps you should take next.

Getting help for yourself may also include making an appointment with a therapist or counselor. You cannot be the best source of support for your adult child if you are neglecting your own mental health needs. 

Find Mental Health Treatment in Nashville, TN

Arbor Wellness is a trusted provider of life-changing care for adults who have been struggling with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and a wide range of other mental health concerns. At our mental health treatment center in Nashville, Tennessee, your adult child can receive quality clinical care and comprehensive, personalized support from a team of dedicated professionals. 

To learn more about our programs and services, or to schedule a free assessment for your child, please visit our admissions page or call our center today.